A Shift

Shortly before Christmas break, and about the time of my last post, I received an amazing phone call. A few weeks previous I had taken a chance and applied for a job I knew would be an incredible opportunity but didn't know if I really wanted it. A new industry, a great benefit plan and a fresh start on a career I had otherwise written off... and yet I couldn't imagine not being at school to volunteer and substitute teach or simply enjoy a long day with little Lilly.

I accepted the interview offer, if for nothing else than the experience, and walked away feeling pretty good about it. A week passed and I didn't hear anything so I just assumed I wasn't the right fit and felt a certain amount of relief. A second week passed and I mourned the opportunity, thinking of how huge it would be for my little family to have a second income and a chance to get caught up.

I spent a good long day considering what I would be giving up by going back to work. I had to come to the hard realization that I would not catch up my kids scrapbooks no matter how long I stayed home. My house has never been spotless despite carefree days I could have devoted to cleaning. My daughter is not an expert in her ABC's or 123's even though I have the resources and time to practice these skills. It was very clear to me that while I really enjoyed being home the expectations I had laid out for myself years before were not realistic.

The next day I received "the call." Imagine my surprise when I was given the offer and without a second thought accepted it. Clearly this is something I was anticipating far more than I would allow myself to admit. Best of all the position wouldn't be starting until after the first of the year, which gave me three weeks to get child care lined up and to absolutely make the most of my remaining time at home.

I love my job, in a way I never thought I would find after all of the disappointing HR experiences I had working in the manufacturing setting. I work with kind women who put a priority on family, support each other and do not take satisfaction in others failures.

Without my past failures and frustrations I would not fully appreciate what I have now and I recognize that. I can now honestly say I would not trade my past because it has equipped me to be successful in the present.

And what a gift it is.

A Special Walk

Recently my friend Katie, the mother of three enchanting young children, mentioned that she loves the itty bitty baby phase and now that her youngest is 6 months she is beginning to miss it. I found this so interesting because I had a very different revelation in my life recently.

In the past year my youngest has potty trained, can feed herself and tell me what hurts when she doesn't feel good. My two older boys make themselves breakfast, get dressed for school and are learning to manage their own time in order to get out of the door in a timely manner, which leaves me time to *finally* take care of myself and not always look like I just rolled out of bed {this is especially handy when the afternoon some how sneaks up on me - daily!}.

As the parent of infants I found it very hard to play pretend or get past the sleepless nights and guessing what could possibly be causing the endless crying... is it a simple belly ache or a serious full-blown ear infection? Now that my kids are on to the next phase I have found a new joy in parenting these 3 unique individuals. Nathan often accompanies me to the store where we discuss school and the choices he is faced with as well as any life lessons we happen to see along the way. Lilly still needs a lot of redirection but even so she has come a LONG way since her terrible two's - trust me - otherwise I'd be talking about the daughter I used to have but sold to gypsies long ago.

Topher, on the other hand, has always had a quiet and reserved way about him. I often wonder if anything I say is getting through to him. He is the example of a model student while at school but at home he frustrates the tar out of me. I am happy he is such an individual and not easily swayed but the masses - but just once I wish it was not to my detriment. **sigh**

Tonight both boys had baseball games but, wouldn't you know, not at the same place. Patrick dropped Topher and I off at the field just as his game was starting and then left to go a few towns over for Nathan's game. Unfortunately, or fortunately as I now reflect, it left Toph and I stranded at the ball field once his game wrapped up. BTW: Topher had 2 home runs tonight {he is in t-ball and the last batter runs all the bases to bring the team in... so he gets 2 home runs every game... but it sounded pretty good didn't it?}

As we headed towards the road a teacher from the boys school who knows we walk to and from school each day asked if we had the car tonight and offered to drive us home when I explained that we didn't. Though I was very tempted to accept, I turned down her offer, figuring a little exercise wouldn't do any one any harm.

On our walk home I had a rare chance for alone time with my middle child and we had great conversations about so many things. I love explaining to my kids how the world works and what makes things go round. He was wondering how the street light knew to change and what the green stuff was growing on top of the water in the ditch. He received a lesson on walking against traffic and the proper way to cross a super busy street - all things he should already know but I was able to put in to practice and reinforce.

It all seems so simple but I can not express how much I love talking with my boys as young men and teaching them the few things I know. They are at such a great and curious age that I enjoy more each and every day. It is amazing that they are already this grown up and nearly finished with another year of school. My babies are becoming fine young men before my eyes and I am grateful for the special walk I had with Topher tonight.