Shortly before Christmas break, and about the time of my last post, I received an amazing phone call. A few weeks previous I had taken a chance and applied for a job I knew would be an incredible opportunity but didn't know if I really wanted it. A new industry, a great benefit plan and a fresh start on a career I had otherwise written off... and yet I couldn't imagine not being at school to volunteer and substitute teach or simply enjoy a long day with little Lilly.
I accepted the interview offer, if for nothing else than the experience, and walked away feeling pretty good about it. A week passed and I didn't hear anything so I just assumed I wasn't the right fit and felt a certain amount of relief. A second week passed and I mourned the opportunity, thinking of how huge it would be for my little family to have a second income and a chance to get caught up.
I spent a good long day considering what I would be giving up by going back to work. I had to come to the hard realization that I would not catch up my kids scrapbooks no matter how long I stayed home. My house has never been spotless despite carefree days I could have devoted to cleaning. My daughter is not an expert in her ABC's or 123's even though I have the resources and time to practice these skills. It was very clear to me that while I really enjoyed being home the expectations I had laid out for myself years before were not realistic.